Two Rude Uncles

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Sometimes, I use the Random Story Generator to make funny stories and read them out loud. It's like a game. This will become a video soon, but I'll also post some of them here for you to enjoy.

Usually, I simply randomize all of the categories, including any names, locations and adjectives it asks for so I have no idea what I'm getting into. Try it for yourself!


He was a cold-blooded, peculiar, brandy drinker with charming feet and curvaceous eyebrows. His friends saw him as a gifted, gleaming god. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a squealing old lady. That's the sort of man he was.

Simon walked over to the window and reflected on his cold surroundings. The sun shone like jogging tortoises.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ruth Jones. Ruth was an understanding doctor with handsome feet and grubby eyebrows.

Simon gulped. He was not prepared for Ruth.

As Simon stepped outside and Ruth came closer, he could see the fuzzy glint in her eye.

Ruth glared with all the wrath of 746 funny encouraging elephants. She said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want love."

Simon looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the ribbed rock. "Ruth, I'm in love with you," he replied.

They looked at each other with unstable feelings, like two fierce, faffdorking flamingos rampaging at a very incredible Christening, which had music playing in the background and two rude uncles talking to the beat.

Simon regarded Ruth's handsome feet and grubby eyebrows. "I feel the same way!" revealed Simon with a delighted grin.

Ruth looked sad, her emotions blushing like a brief, blushing banana.

Then Ruth came inside for a nice glass of brandy.

THE END

 

Auto Praise for Two Rude Uncles Talking to the Beat

"I feel like I know Simon Jolie. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale

"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler

"Saying the sun shone like jogging tortoises is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop